Wanting It The Way You Want It
It was the Big Day, the one the bride and groom had spent months planning. Every last detail had been thought out and arranged. Everything was set for a beautiful spring wedding surrounded by flowering trees and singing birds.
Apprehensive glances at the sky gave us good reason to be nervous. Gray clouds blew ominously over. The coolness in the air could not be ignored.
Gulp. Could it really rain on this, their wedding day?
The groom seemed okay with whatever happened, but it was another story for Cathy, the bride. Her jaw was set; her eyes were narrow. She was ready to fight God himself to get her sunny day.
Just hours from the start of the wedding, I spoke with Cathy. Could she really get it just the way she wanted it? Maybe this wedding day, like marriage itself, involved planning for it to be one way but staying open to other possibilities. A great marriage has a lack of self-centeredness, an understanding that it’s not only about oneself anymore. You can’t always get it the way you want it when you’re married.
We talked about surrender – the act of letting go and letting God. Some things are our business and some things are God’s business. You can guess whose business the weather is!
Cathy went off by herself to do some inner work. She came back about half an hour later — resigned, yes, but also more open, more surrendered to letting it be the way it was. She could accept that the guests might need to cram into the dark little building for the ceremony. She now understood that, while you don’t always get it the way you want it, you can always choose your response. She chose to be happy.
What a great way to start a marriage.
We spoke about the wedding afterward. Cathy acknowledges that the whole thing was a great lesson – that learning to let go of the most important event in her life gave her tools for the rest of her life.
You never know what’s going to happen in a wedding. You do your best and then you deliver it over. You go with the flow.
I was very proud of Cathy that day. And guess what? Cathy didn’t only get the gift of a new attitude. As it turned out, the gray clouds drifted away and she also got a sunny outdoor wedding.